Who can we Trust?
- Janell Holloway
- 17 hours ago
- 11 min read
Unraveling a Trail of Betrayal
We TRUST YMCA Administrators, Board of Directors, Spiritual leaders, Prosecutors, Judges, Courts, elected officials, and the media to protect innocent children and adults. But what happens when those entrusted to lead choose silence over courage? What happens when the very people responsible for those protections fail to act? The greatest damage is not only the original wrongdoing—it is the broken trust left behind for ordinary families who believed these institutions would protect them.
Addressing the actions of a man exhibiting predatory behavior in a women's locker room should have taken only minutes. It should have been simple: acknowledge the problem, protect those at risk, and act with integrity. Instead, the Executive Director of the Xenia YMCA, Alan Milkis, chose concealment over accountability. Rather than providing the leadership the community expected, he allowed trust to be shattered and a preventable situation to grow into a lasting wound.
The events of September 2022 placed me on a path I never anticipated. I did not seek to become an advocate for women and girls or to challenge institutions that have lost their way. Yet when leaders at every level fail to defend what is right, who is left to speak? I believe God placed this opportunity before me, and while I do not know how this journey will end, I pray for the strength to remain faithful, to stand for truth, and to show His love and grace in every door of opportunity God opens before me.
September 26, 2022
I vividly remember approaching the front desk with my husband, Van, to report a man who was completely naked and displaying predatory behavior in the Xenia YMCA women's locker room. I told myself that within ten minutes this dreadful experience would be behind me and I could move on. Reporting Darren was the right decision to protect myself, my young granddaughters, and the many other women and girls who use the women's locker room. Additionally, reporting this incident might help Darren change course instead of continuing on a harmful path in his own life.
The blank stare and initial silence from manager Chris Stevens were our first indications that the YMCA was not the organization we had believed it to be. She quickly reassured us that Executive Director Alan Milkis would get back to us very soon. We left and went home, waiting for his call. The next day, after waiting anxiously and making several unsuccessful attempts to reach the YMCA director, Van stopped by and spoke with Alan in person. Alan expressed no concern about a man being naked in the women's locker room and advised my husband to "just have your wife use the family locker room." No report was filed, and there appeared to be no concern for the safety or privacy of women and young girls—only a strong impression that we should let it go and move on. That day, Alan paused our membership because Van found Alan's response unacceptable. We believed we could not continue using the YMCA until these dangerous policies were addressed.
October 24, 2022
Throughout the next four weeks, we made numerous attempts to contact the leadership of the YMCA of Greater Dayton through emails, phone calls, and messages that went unanswered. After nearly a month of persistence, a meeting was finally arranged between Vice President Josh Sullenberger, CEO Dale Brunner, and my husband, Van, to discuss the YMCA's unclear and dangerous policies. Van attended the meeting, hoping to find a constructive resolution. Instead, he was shown a whiteboard with many names of Xenia YMCA members who had recently canceled their memberships–communicating that it was our fault.
Darren Glines’ file was open on a table and research had been done on the church where Van serves as a pastor. Two very upset administrators, attempting to intimidate us, pleaded their case for why we should let this matter drop. Van listened to their demands for our silence and quietly left, with the door firmly shut behind him.
A few hours later, I received a call from David Thompson, another Vice President at the YMCA of Greater Dayton. Our family has known David for more than twenty years and David once served as a pastor at our church. For a brief moment, I hoped this conversation
might lead to a resolution. However, my hopes were quickly dashed when he expressed interest only in speaking with Van and showed no desire to address my concerns directly. He arranged a meeting with Van for the following Monday morning at our church. I invited myself to that meeting and brought a letter I had written to the YMCA administrators and board members. During that meeting, David told me there was no risk to me or any other women or girl changing or showering in the locker room with Darren. He stated that "transgender individuals" who use the YMCA are among the most well-behaved and respected members in their organization. He said the YMCA has many members who identify as "transgender" and they have used the Dayton area YMCA facilities for years. Mr. Thompson went on to say that the primary behavioral problems the leadership regularly encounters come from heterosexual men whose actions toward women often require a director's involvement and YMCA leadership has to intervene to protect these women. He gave examples of men taking pictures of women and girls while they work out or men following women to their cars. According to YMCA policy, a young girl can be alone in a women's locker room with a man, if the man has registered as a woman at the front desk, and the YMCA believes that young girl will be safe. When that meeting ended, I felt numb and deeply betrayed. My trust in the YMCA and in David Thompson were gone.
November - December 2022
A few days after the October meeting, Van and I posted a message on Facebook to inform our community about the YMCA's policies and encourage families to take measures to protect their children. By early December, several community members, who also had no reassuring response from the YMCA about the unsafe policies, had filed police reports. Around that same time, a Xenia police detective contacted me to inquire whether I had encountered Darren Glines in the women's locker room. I confirmed that I had, and he asked if I would be willing to file a police report as they were considering indecent exposure charges. Shortly after I submitted my statement, the detective informed me that charges were proceeding, initiating the court process.
Before the trial, the Xenia Municipal Court held a few meetings to explain court procedures and prepare witnesses for what to expect. We were strongly advised to remove any social media posts and avoid speaking with the media about the case. I followed those instructions and nervously waited for the proceedings to begin. The Xenia Municipal Court Prosecutor expressed hope that the matter could be resolved through a plea agreement, avoiding the need for a trial.
March 21, 2023, was ultimately scheduled for a bench trial before Xenia Municipal Court Judge David McNamee. The days leading up to the trial were overwhelming. I lost my
appetite, felt physically ill, and struggled with the weight of what lay ahead. Having never testified in court, it felt like I was the one on trial. When the subpoena was taped to my front door, the reality of the situation became impossible to ignore. Being escorted into a crowded courtroom and standing just a few feet from Darren was one of the most challenging experiences of my life. Van had been subpoenaed the night before by the defense attorneys, so he was not allowed in the courtroom. YMCA CEO Dale Brunner was sitting in the back of the courtroom. When the questioning began, it felt chaotic, with repeated objections from the defense attorneys regarding the incorrect use of Darren's preferred pronouns. Nevertheless, I told the truth and answered the questions asked of me and then was escorted to a separate room, where I remained sequestered for the rest of the trial.
At the end of the bench trial, Judge McNamee stated that he would deliberate on the case and deliver a verdict in two weeks, after reviewing all the submitted evidence. Witnesses were given an opportunity to provide a "Victim Impact Statement" (see mine here) detailing how the incident and trial had impacted their lives. The court advocate noted that these statements would be part of the record and could be considered during sentencing if a conviction were to occur. Having known Darren Glines for many years, I appreciated the chance to communicate directly with him through this statement and spent the next week carefully drafting my letter. At that time, I had full confidence that Judge McNamee would make a decision that would safeguard the women and young girls in our community.
In the weeks following the trial, I started to learn more about the experiences of other women and girls who had been significantly impacted. One of them was Kateisha, an employee at the Fairborn YMCA, who had become friends with Darren and initially thought he was a victim of bullying and "transphobia." She supported him, even assisting him in obtaining legal representation after charges of indecent exposure were filed by members of the Xenia YMCA. Unfortunately, Darren exploited her kindness and friendship, and ultimately sexually assaulted her. Realizing she had been deceived, Kateisha promptly ended the friendship and filed a police report. She soon discovered that she would not receive the protection or support she expected from her employer, the Fairborn YMCA. After Darren repeatedly visited her workplace seeking her out, she was compelled to seek a protective order.
Kateisha's supervisor, Fairborn YMCA's Executive Director Jackie Brockman, was also subpoenaed as a witness during the March trial. Despite being summoned to testify, she
prioritized her job at the YMCA over supporting her employee, leaving out any reference to Kateisha in her testimony. Her loyalty to the YMCA and protecting her position were priorities as she responded to questions under oath during the trial. Ms. Brockman should have supported and defended Kateisha, especially after learning about the assault she suffered and her need for a protective order.
On April 28, 2023, Judge McNamee delivered a verdict of not guilty on all three counts of indecent exposure. That decision felt like another deep betrayal and shattered my trust in the judicial system. It did nothing to make women and girls safer. It felt as though Judge McNamee was treating something so devastating in my life like a game, with no regard for the harm it caused others. I thought this nightmare would finally be over with the verdict, and it wasn't.
After the verdict, I was consumed by anger, bitterness, and a deep sense of betrayal, directing much of that pain toward God and struggling to find peace or trust. Over time, God softened my heart, restored my faith, and transformed my broken heart into a renewed purpose—to faithfully advocate for the safety and protection of women and girls, and shifted my trust to Him to use my pain for His greater purpose.
Advocating for women and girls:
Two organizations particularly active in empowering and advocating for women and girls have been The Independent Women's Voice and The Center for Christian Virtue. Both organizations have and still engage with the Xenia YMCA story. They continue to offer opportunities and connections to events or ways to use our voices for change.
The YMCA, unfortunately, has also been actively working at ways to get our stories to disappear. Alan Milkis, early on was transferred to the Coffman YMCA branch in Springboro and Kim Sheehan became the new Executive Director at the Xenia YMCA.
To further add to the insults, the YMCA of Greater Dayton appointed Executive Director Alan Milkis to oversee obtaining accreditation with a company called Praesidium Accreditation.
Director Milkis boasting the praises of the YMCA of Greater Dayton's efforts to protect children from abuse after families who have simply sought answers about basic protections are ignored, is insane. The YMCA must stop misleading their community and members. Our inherent rights and First Amendment rights must be protected. The concerns of women who sound the alarms about a man exhibiting predatory behavior in a locker room, should have been addressed immediately. Since October of 2022, I have been blocked by all of the YMCAs of Greater Dayton and not received a response to any of my messages. Silencing and retaliating against women and girls with a coordinated cover-up is criminal.
Kateisha has also experienced her own pushback and cancelling, when Greene County Judge Cynthia Martin removed Kateisha's protective order, without any foreknowledge, six months before it was set to expire. Kateisha had been able to remain at her job at the
Fairborn YMCA with that protective order in place, and when that protection was removed, it essentially removed her safety and protection at her work, which ultimately ended her job. She sent a message to me the day she found out her protective order was dropped and this is what she said, "Judge Cynthia Martin dismissed my protective order. How do I move on from this experience? What if he comes to my workplace? How can I be forgiving even knowing he might commit the same crime again with someone else or more vulnerable? I'm really trying to learn how to submit to the will of God."
Greene Co officials also were involved in the YMCA situation early on. Greene County Prosecutor David Hayes in early 2023 requested an "Opinion" from Ohio State Attorney General Dave Yost. David Hayes received his answer from the Attorney General's office on May 26, 2023, but he has not pursued any investigation that would protect the women and girls in his own county by addressing the YMCA policies.
Legislative progress:
In November of 2024 Senate Bill 104 the Protect All Students Act was signed into law.
The Save Women's Sports Act was enacted as part of Ohio House Bill 68.
Ohio HB 249, known as the Indecent Exposure Modernization Act, is the latest bill that was passed in the house but has stalled by the Ohio Senate Judiciary Committee. Senate Judiciary Chair Nathan Manning did not advance this bill forward for a vote before the
summer break. All members of the Senate Judiciary Committee received testimonials and a video created by the Center for Christian Virtue to highlight the urgency of passing HB 249 before the summer recess. Ohio Senate President Rob McColley met with Kateisha and me in person to hear our firsthand stories, which highlighted the necessity for improved protections.
On a few occasions, I dedicated a significant amount of time to writing to Ohio and Federal elected officials, however I seldom received a response due to the political climate surrounding issues of biological sex and gender and legislators' concerns about potential backlash from their constituents.
President Trump signed an executive order on his first day in office restoring biological reality, establishing sex-based definitions, and standing for objective truth. I appreciated his response when so many others have not responded at all.
Cancelling and Silencing
The experience of being canceled and silenced on social media platforms has been predictive. I was invited to speak at a rally with Independent Women and the Our Bodies, Our Sports coalition in June of 2024. After posting my speech on my personal Facebook page, my account was permanently shut down within hours. Sharing my experience and advocating for basic protections was considered a serious violation, leaving me without an option for appeal. The “Take Back Title IX” Summer 2024 Bus Tour was a nationwide advocacy journey, featuring notable female athletes, coaches, and women’s rights advocates who opposed the Biden administration’s new Title IX regulations. A key focus of this tour was to highlight the importance of preserving single-sex spaces like locker rooms and bathrooms.
Receiving messages from individuals who are opposed to my position has been challenging. While most messages are anonymous, some have been very direct. Trevor Mullins (now going by Gwyneth) is someone who has been very direct with his position, and I honestly have appreciated his straightforwardness, even though we strongly disagree.
Just as we, as individuals, have the freedom to accept or reject the order God has created for our betterment; institutions, judges, legislators, and organizations like the YMCA also face this decision. However, when the rejection of God's creation is deceptively imposed on me or others, we have no choice but to speak up and defend our rights. The evil one seeks to steal, kill, and destroy, and Satan's army is actively at work.
This journey has deepened my faith and trust in God. It has demonstrated that walking a fine line between good and evil is a futile, losing battle. I understand that some individuals truly struggle with gender issues and desperately need to hear the truth and receive compassionate guidance toward assistance. However, it remains crucial to address men who are taking advantage of organizations like the YMCA through deception and manipulation. These men are using weak laws and policies to gain access to women and young girls who need protection. I can no longer use silence and ignorance as an excuse.
May GOD continue to grant me the faith to believe He's still got this, the courage to boldly speak HIS truth, and a trust and obedience stronger than my times of doubt.
This post is dedicated to my five precious granddaughters whom I will fiercely defend and protect. This is not a battle that our children and grandchildren should ever have to fight!
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